HE DOESN'T KNOW ANY BETTER

 So a few weeks ago I went through my phone and cleaned out all five numbers I received this year. None of the men intrigued me in any way so I trashed them. I wasn't feeling their conversation nor the vibe. I'm a loss cause if you can't intrigue me through conversation. Nonetheless one in particular I actually remember his name. I just knew I wouldn't hear from him again because I stopped taking his calls; along with refusing to send him a picture of me. He had also gotten too comfortable with me too fast. I have a name and unless we have established some type of serious level of comfort I am going to need to be addressed by my name. Not baby, bae, boo, sweety, or what have you. The only exception to this rule is when island men call me Beautiful. Double standard you say? I think not! Beautiful is a compliment thank you very much. Anyway I just wasn't feeling him at all. His charm was nice enough for him to give me his number and for me to text him, but after a few messages I was totally not into him in the least bit. After letting him know that I would rather him address me by my name, I had to let him know that I don't like getting phone calls at 10 o'clock at night. There is plenty of time during the day to converse with me. To choose the most inopportune to call shows a lack of consideration. Unless it's a result of conflicting work schedules, but this wasn't the case. The biggest thing that turned me off what his constant talk of wanting to give me a massage. It's not your profession for one. Secondly you don't know me well enough to be inviting your hands to be touching on me. Skipping all the phases of trying to get to know someone to immediately trying to feel them up. I am not eager to be touched! Maybe that is the pickup line he uses often with women and it works, but with me not so much. Complete turn off to say the lease. So this guy calls me last night and I answered because of course his number no longer is programmed in my phone. I'm thinking it was one of my home girls that I haven't talked to in a few weeks calling me from a different number. Wrong! The conversation went a bit like this:

Me: Hello?
Him: Hey what's up?
Me: Puzzled Ummmm nothing much. Who is this?
Him: D***n
Me: Ooohhh hey. Sounding less enthused than before and rolling my eyes at the same time.
Him: I don't quite remember, but at some point he asked when he would be able to see me again.
Me: Told him my availability just to pull his card. He has come off like a bulls**t type of man so I know he'll never pick a time or date that's most convenient for the both of us. 
Him: Ohhh well I'll have to see. I mean I am off on Fridays, but yea I'll hit you back and see what's up.

 Now my thing is, if you're so eager to see me why must you have to call me back after knowing when I'm available?  Again rolling my eyes  and calling B.S. Just complete foolery. I think his only interest is trying to get sexual with me and I'm not with all that. He better find someone else to play with. 

With all of that being said it just made me think of what I consider proper etiquette when you just meet someone. Mainly for the men because I've met some men that just have it all twisted. At least when it comes to me.

1.  Be considerate:

• Be mindful of the phone call and text times. If it's in the beginning stages it's best to keep the talk time at decent hours. Once a woman has given the okay, only then will it be appropriate for you to contact her at later hours. 
• Ask her out on lunch dates until there has been a comfort level established between the two of you. 

2.  Chillin at the house especially at night hours isn't considered an appropriate date time for a woman that's looking for a  whole lot  more than penis .

• Inviting a woman to hang out at your place at night leaves an impression that a man only is interested in trying to sleep with her. Stop thinking with your penis head and start thinking head with a brain. 
• If   a woman wants to be intimate with a man she will let him know at her own time and pace. Until then a man's focus should only be about seeing if there is a possible chemistry between the two. 

3.  Keep the pet names to yourself:

• Calling me sweety, baby, bae, sexy, etc early shows a sign that you are trying to move way too fast too soon. I prefer to be addressed by my name unless I have given indication that I don't mind. This one is quite personal to me. It's cool that you are into me like that, but can I figure out if I'm into you the same way? Slow it down.

4.   Take initiative:

• If you are interested in seeing a woman, don't hesitate to invite her out. 
• I suggest a lunch date. Lunch dates take off the pressure and awkwardness of going on a date at night. 
• Ask her about her times of  availability and go from there. Women like a take charge man. Forward thinking and especially paying attention to detail.

These are just a few things that I know can bug when when a man calls himself showing interest in me. Am I being too strict? Do you find that you run into the same issues? Let me know. 

1.  

NO VACANCY FOR EMOTIONS NOR A RELATIONSHIP

I was thinking that just maybe I was the only one that had this issue, but after viewing a video of one of my favorite YouTube channels I see that I'm not alone with this issue.

 

 I seem to attract a lot of older men, island men, and men that have women. The older men and island men I don't have an issue with because I like men that are up in age and an island man with a strong accent just moves my heart like no other! The set of men I have issues with well not really an issue, but the ones that get on my damn nerves are the men that are already in a relationship. They must have a special handbook for them aside from the all man's handbook. They all claim to be unhappy or bored in their relationship. I learned a long time ago to stop entertaining conversation with those type of men. Emotionally they are unavailable and can't invest the time, attention, or anything else into you for the reason of them being in a full blown relationship. It would be an absolute waste of everything to exchange interactions with them. I just found it funny how Rae Rose put it in her blog. Unhappily in a relationship asses. LOL that's how I feel, but she said it first. 

 Anyway take a look and subscribe to her channel. 

BLATANT RACISM IT CAN HAPPEN ANYWHERE

 Maybe it's just me, but every since George Zimmerman came on the scene with his bigot attitude towards blacks and getting off for killing Trayvon Martin, the black and white racial issues have become a wildfire and breeding ground in the media.  We all have freedom of speech and are entitled to feel the way we want to feel about people or a particular race of people. We all have our view points on different people and races. It's only when you have those moments of seeing  a  person being racist or hearing raw footage of someone's racist thoughts somehow enrage emotions in us. Whether those emotions are anger, hatred, sadness, confusion, etc. Being a young black woman living in the south, it's something I see and hear frequently. Whether it's the way one is being treated or hearing it personally. Racism is something that has never been kept quiet where I'm from. I can respect the way a person feels about my skin color. I was born black and will remain that way. I am an entity of one. People are either brought up to have those personal view points; or it can be brought on by a person's personal interactions with a particular race of people or a person. Fine by me. That's an opinion and many times there isn't a way to change a person's mind. It is what it is. 

  

  Once again the media lines have been on fire about the latest footage that was released of a white woman Janelle Ambrosia displaying her racist behavior in front of a Family Dollar store with her children towards a black male Narvell Benning. From what was reported Narvell went into the Family Dollar to grab some deodorant before heading to work. Narvell started his vehicle where Janelle's children stood somewhere in the front of him and startled the children. That was enough to set Janelle off. She called Narvell a "disgusting n****r"multiple times. She got on the phone and called someone and started into the name calling more once again. Janelle told the person over the phone to speak to Narvell and let them know that he would kill him and continued to cuss and call Narvell "a nasty n****r". Even Janelle's son yelled racist remarks at Narvell. Janelle stated that her son doesn't like black people either. Again it's not surprising to me at all. It does in a sense piss me off that a person would go out of their way to try and demean and belittle someone based off of something irrelevant to race. One of my most favorite sayings. When a person shows you who they are, you believe them. I say that to say after the video had made it's way through social media, Janelle Ambrosia was given an opportunity to give her side of what happened. The attitude she displayed in the interview validated who she really is. In the interview Janelle was very arrogant and didn't accept responsibility for her actions and views of black people. Again I don't care how Janelle feels, my problem is when people are exposed for being racist they try and retract their behavior. They all start with the "I have black friends. I have black family members." That's the typical racist line. If one is caught displaying racist behavior then own it! Don't say something and go to the edge with it and right after you've taken the jump you wanna take it back. That's not how that works in my mind. Racist people lack taking accountability for how they feel. Racism is alive and greatly acceptable in the states. Whether you're a celebrity or someone off of the street I have yet to really hear anyone tell these people to take accountability. They say what they mean and seem to not mean what they say when it is made public. Our country was built off the backs, hands, and feet of a great majority of blacks. It's not surprising that people still feel or feel like blacks are still an inferior race. It's apparent from her radio interview that she is very much so a racist. And perhaps a bit crazy, but she is very much aware of how she feels and feels quite strongly about it. Simply own how you feel Janelle it's out there now. 

  

Take a look at the footage and then listen to her radio interview. Chime in and let me know how you feel? 

   

PIMPIN' IN THE CHURCH

 So last Sunday after awakening from my slumber, I was greeted with the sound of my television. As I always do I fell asleep with the t.v. on. Generally it winds up on a channel that will have Pastors and/or Bishops on preaching their "word" of the Bible. I laid in my bed for quite some time listening to what was being said. I looked up at the ceiling fan spinning the entire time. The Pastor or whatever he was told three different stories of people with money problems. And a miraculous miracle happened and they were blessed with money in an over flow after him laying his hands and them sowing their seed to the church. He even told a story of himself. What he said was he and his wife didn't have very much money, but they wanted to buy a house. They went and looked at three different houses and had settled on the third largest house. The Pastor proceeded to say that he wrote a deposit check of $15,000 knowing he didn't have the money in the bank. He said he prayed that Saturday night before going to bed. He went to service the next morning and whoever was the Pastor that morning asked the people of the church to bless their main Pastor. The Pastor that was speaking on the television said the church had raised him $15,800 and something dollars to the penny. He was so gracious to God because his prayers the night before had been answered. 

 ~Insert my puzzled look along with acknowledging this pastor just admitted to check kiting which is against the law~

 In between him telling the stories of people and their money issues and getting blessed immediately with an overflow of money a small commercial of him comes up. In the commercial I remember the pastor saying that he specializes in Finances, Family, and I believe he said Faith. 

 Throughout his entire sermon he referenced back to the Bible only once from the time I woke up until the end of the segment. It was Deuteronomy 1:11. After telling about three stories he goes on to say that people need to sow their seeds in order to get blessings. He then goes right into a monetary amount of $1000 that people are to send in to be prayed for and then to receive their blessing(s). Why the $1000 he says.....It was stated in Deuteronomy 1:11 Thanks to the King James Version Bible it states The LORD God of your fathers make you a thousand times so many more as ye are, and bless you, as he hath promised you! He took that small passage of a thousand and placed a dollar sign in front of it. He told the church and television people to charge it to their credit cards and pull the money out of their savings account. "It's not like you have anything to lose." he states. 
  
 Really Mr. Pastor?! So this is what spreading the word has been reduced to? Pastors are putting prices on BLESSINGS and PRAYER?! Really?! You specialize in a specific area of your supposed calling?! Pure foolery at it's finest. And because most people are so naive and gullible they are not only banking on those people, but preying on them as well. As a child I don't remember church being how it is today. We all knew we had to pay Tithes. Our grandmother or one of our aunties would give us quarters to put into Children's Church. Once we got too old to be in Children's Church we would put our dollar into church. The Pastor preached from the bible. Spreading the knowledge and teaching of the bible. Even as kid I felt moved by the Pastor's interpretation of the bible. It was more of a give what you could not you have to put in your 10% this week along with an additional percentage to take care of the "First Family". I stopped attending a particular church here in Jacksonville, FL because of the focus that surrounded money. I'm not with all that. From what I know Tithes wasn't in the form of money. And I understand that times change, but these Church Pimps aka Pastors and Bishops are out here getting folks for their money like it's nothing. No remorse. Not my little coins though. I'm good. I have common sense and I can see that the church is set up as a Pimp and Hoe systems. The heads of the church are the pimps and the silly little peasants aka congregation are the hoes. Listening to that foolery and trickery inspired my What's on your mind post via my Facebook last Sunday.
 "These pastors are out here selling dreams! This pastor's whole sermon is about MONEY! He has stood up and told stories about other people getting money including himself. He referenced the bible ONCE with a Deuteronomy 1:11 verse. Stating that one is supposed come up with $1000 and it send it to him oh no to send in to "God" and that's how they''ll receive their blessings. Man that's total bull! He said put the money on your credit card or pull it from your savings account since you don't have anything to lose anyway. People are so gullible and will do it. Not even realizing there has never been a monetary value placed on the blessings. God isn't on earth to collect money. He wants us to live and trust in his word. These pastors are PIMPS and the congregation are the HOES. Be upset if you want, but the truth can hurt. This is why I stopped attending church. I don't care for a fashion show nor will I sit up in any church and feel like I HAVE to give money to listen to some parts of Foolery they've interpreted as their version of the word. Smh turning the channel."

 Speaking of hoes, I'm sure you all have seen the latest uproar coming from the church house of Pastor Jamal H. Bryant about the Hoes not being loyal quoting the lyrics from the Chris Brown song These Hoes Ain't Loyal. Now I don't know what the entire sermon was about, but this is exactly my point. The church leaders are getting too worldly. Had the whole congregation going bananas praising whatever the hell he was talking about. My opinion that's just tacky and too much. Then again from what I've read Pastor Jamal knows a lot about the hoes not being loyal since he was or maybe still is one. After all he did cheat on his ex first lady which lead to their divorce. Haha so I guess that one can be referenced back to him huh? 
  
 Smh what is the church world coming to? That's the type of foolishness that keeps a lot of people away. If you can't relate to the realness of what's being taught in the church you can Google and find your way through your own Bible. With all that corruption and greed might as well save ya gas and money and sit home getting it at your own will.